Shyness has always been and remains a controversial topic: some people consider it to be a virtue, whereas the others would claim it is a vice. On my personal scale of emotions, shyness equals politeness but nothing more. For too long, I’ve been suffering from feeling insecure and wary confusing these emotions with being shy, which, according to the morals imposed on us by TV and literature, I thought was a good thing. In reality, my inhibitions have caused a lot of problems to my personal and professional life.
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Well, stop dwelling on my psychological issues lest I get carried away. What we really need to focus on is that a new school year is about to begin. This means you are going to meet new people, and it would be nice to make some friends, wouldn’t it? However, shyness is a hindrance when it comes to making friends. So, here are some tips on how to overcome it!
Start with a Small Talk
When you see a group of people and hesitate to join them just because you don’t know what to say, try general conversation starters, for instance, “Hello, I’m Ann. How’s it going?” If you add a couple of compliments, for instance, “I like your hair. I wish bangs looked good on me as well”, you are bound to gain favour with them.
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Look for a Common Interest
I don’t want to sound creepy, but observing people for some time actually works. Once you learn their likes and dislikes, it is easier to come up with the strategy how to behave around them. Say, you’ve noticed that the guy sitting next to you is wearing a Knicks’ T-shirt. You can approach him with something like “Hi, I am a huge Knicks fan myself. Have you watched the last game?” and so on.
Try Performing or Public Speaking
Do you know the nightmare of each shy person? Of course, you’ve dreamed it yourself. It’s performing on stage with all those people staring at you. Ironically, that’s just the thing you should do to overcome shyness – face your biggest fear.
Think of a Role Model to Look up to
There must be someone you look at and think, “God, I wish I were as confident/gregarious/successful as he/she”. Well, it’s all up to you. Think of such a person in your life, be it a movie star or your neighbor, and pick the traits of his/her character you want to develop.
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Most people would agree that the key to any psychological problem is self-acceptance. Probably, you care about the public opinion too much, and that is the reason why you feel so insecure. To get rid of anxiety, you need to learn how to love and accept yourself.
Don’t let shyness jeopardize your relationship with other people. Use these tips to suppress your fear, stop feeling shy, and get ready to make new friends!