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Human sexuality has a crucial role in the life of everyone, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, Chinese or American, an old person or a young one, it is a vital part of human life. Sexuality issues have been always a point of interest for all people, however, a few of them spoke up about them out loud in the public or even just sharing their worries with their partners. Thousands of books, movies, articles, and even sex shops prove the importance of healthy sexual relationship for each human being. However, this relationship should not be limited to the sole sexual act, but include pre and post possible issues which frequently arise nowadays.
Next to eating and sleeping, it seems to take the most of our time – both in thoughts and behavior. Probably, Kant was right when he stated that sex was the most important thing which penetrates each facet of human life. Even if the person is not consciously concerned with the sex issues, the subconscious mind is always picking up, comparing, contrasting, and analyzing the possible partners. This behavior reminds the animals’ behavior with only one difference that for people sex does not constitute only the act or reproduction, but also bringing a lot of other benefits for the organism (Molina, 1999).
Discussion of Sexuality Issues
Freedom of choice and ability to do what one likes, if it does not harm other people, has always been a priority for me. Today’s world claims to be democratic and liberal in human rights, however, there is still too many countries with religious practices which greatly restrict humans’ freedoms, discriminating women’s role in sexuality, and forbid people enjoy a full life of pleasure. Therefore, all the topics I have chosen are not only highlighting the sexuality issues but also give us a great insight into the problems concerning freedom of our actions and words which we experience each day.
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However, detached and apathetic we can be of the different needs of other people, we should not forget that each of us deserves the right to be understood and accepted despite their preferences. The first topic I chose is male and female circumcision which became a turning point of my perception of the equality of men and women. Continuing the topic on equality, homosexuality comes as the next most influential factor which taught me to be more open and broad-minded, recognize that there are very different people in their views, and that such difference is not making them bad or wrong, it just proves that they are self-sufficient individuals who deserve all the best as well as the rest of people across the whole world who does not cause any physical harm to the society.
Abortion is the third topic of discussion as it has been widely disputed by people of different ages, nationalities, and social positions. I find this dispute to be of a great interest which tells me a lot about people’s values and personalities. This problem was one of the most difficult for me to understand whether to accept it or not. However, with time I realized that democracy in everything and towards everyone should be the initial priority of each human being because we can never be totally sure what has driven a person to make a certain step or say a certain word and, therefore, should not judge people by what we see or want to see as our expectations are often erroneous.
Male and female circumcision. Circumcision is most widely practiced in Islamic countries, especially Egypt. It is a removal of the clitoris for women, and the upper skin of the penis top. The amount of women who has this procedure done, thankfully, decline nowadays. The issue was first internationally brought up to the public eye when the CNN broadcast one program which featured a young girl who was circumcised by an ordinary barber from Cairo. The waves of protests arouse which made the president of Egypt recognize that such an operation must be forbidden by the People’s Assembly. It was banned. But despite it, it is still conducted in the country. The Islamist groups oppose that if this operation is not practiced on women than, when she reaches puberty and is still not married, she will be sexually tempted. The same goes with spinsters. They say that if their daughters are not circumcised, not a single man will marry them. The worst from it all is that usually this practice is conducted by unprofessional people, and as a result a number of various medical problems and infections are the outcome (Kandela, 1995).
For me, circumcision has always been one of the most inhumane and disgusting practices when I first found out about it a couple of years ago. I read about the issue in the article about the rights of women in Islamic countries, and since that time the topic has always attracted my attention. Recently, a video appeared on the Internet where a small girl undergoes this process – no anesthesia, no qualified doctors, and blood everywhere.
Nonetheless the attempts of the democratic organizations, both governmental and non-governmental, to stop circumcision from being used at all as an outrageously immoral and brutal operation that, in fact, cause no good to people but only harms them both mentally and physically, the strict religious groups of Moslems continue to torture their children inflicting on them the possibility of development various serious diseases.
Women in the Islamic families have no many rights in general, but when it comes to the intimate life, their roles are even more inferior. The fact which terrified me the most about the situation in Islamic countries, particularly Egypt, was when I found out that according to the polls which took place in 2010-2011, 80 % of native women claim to be sexually harassed by their Egyptian husbands, the same happens to the 98 % of foreign women. What is even more striking the two-thirds of men there admits that they harass women (Raman, 2011).
Learning about such great inequalities and sexual abuse, I realized how important sexual education is. Many people do not think of it even. They believe that everything comes to them naturally – all they need is just to be ruled by their beliefs, however, as the practice in Islamic countries shows, the sole instinct is not enough as the lack of understanding and reasonable treatment of humans’ sexuality can only cause harm to the well-being of men and especially women.
Homosexuality. Same-sex marriages have shaken the world recently. Many homosexuals from the countries where these marriages are approved can finally feel happy that the equality has won again and their rights are defended. Only since 2001, eleven countries (Canada, Denmark, Netherlands, Iceland, Argentina, South Africa, Spain, Norway, Portugal, Belgium, Sweden, including some parts of the United States, and Mexico City) have started to allow same-sex marriages. In Israel, Curacao, Aruba, Sint Maarten, and Uruguay the jurisdiction does not perform homosexual marriages but recognizes its performance elsewhere (The Millennial Generation and the Future of Gay and Lesbian Rights, 2011).
Unfortunately, our society is not ruled only by common sense but also by the religious beliefs which usually greatly influence the morality of the people. Most religions consider homosexuality to be a terrible sin. In fact, practically each religion in the world, including the main ones in the United States, finds homosexuality highly unacceptable. Religious people consider gays and lesbians to be highly offensive as they destroy the freedom of practicing religion by their wrong-doings. The legal system of the United States has evolved from the Bible laws, that is why we should not break those laws in any way possible – at least the majority of our citizens think so (The Millennial Generation and the Future of Gay and Lesbian Rights, 2011).
I regard homosexualists in the same way as all other people – their personal sexual lives do not play any role for me since they prove to be good people. I know three women and one man whose views on intimate life are different from the traditional. Their lives are full of secrets and pain as they are unable to lead an open life among other people being reprimanded and criticized harshly at once. They do not feel free in our country of high democracy. I cannot imagine how people can be so narrow-minded, spiteful, and pious that they are able to hurt others and disapprove their mode of life without even trying to understand the core of the problem.
Some associations describe homosexual marriages as an issue of universal human rights, equality of all humans to do what they are naturally inclined to do if this does not cause harm to anyone. Writers who are ‘pro’ gay marriages call opposition ‘homophobia’ or ‘heterosexism’ and even correlate such marriage prohibitions to interracial marriage between whites and blacks. I would offer you to do the following little experiment which I have done myself to find out how do people really react to the homosexual marriages. Ask any person what they think about homosexual relationship. I give 95 % or even more that you will hear positive replies for the two people who have slightly different attraction than the majority of us does. Then you ask directly about the gay marriage. And here comes silence. Homosexuals must have the same equal rights but marriage? Very few people would support such an idea: Many stereotypes, misunderstandings, and erroneous assumptions have been built around gay marriages and even traditional ones.
There are quite many ‘pro’-opinions of one-sex relationship: The marriage benefits (property joint ownership, tax filing status, insurance benefits, etc.) have to be available for everyone; homosexualists do not do any harm to people in the society. This is just another form of relationship between two people – personal commitment which is ‘no one else’ business. If the church disapproves, it is its right; but they do not have a right to forbid it. The only thing which matters when we talk about marriage is love. Our ability to accept people the way they are only shows the generosity of our soul. Without understanding the world would not last long because people would become more like animals which do not try to understand each other but just behave according to their instincts.
Recently I disccussed this problem with one of my friends, and he told me that homosexuals should do everything possible to become ‘normal’. They must go to the doctor and do a surgery to change. The ignorance of people seems to know no limits at all. They have no idea that all we have comes from our way of thinking as well as the combination of genes we have and experiences we lived through in the past. They look at the problem superficially, and are stubborn or lazy enough to never try to put themselves into those people’s shoes for some time, and then decide whether there can be a place for judgment or not.
Abortion. Our parents, teachers, religious mentors, and protectionist of the rights of human life call us to be humane and treasure the life given to us by someone as the greatest and most beautiful gift. Women who decide to make an abortion are considered to be the brutal, heartless murderers who are ready to kill the unborn child. However, how many of these people think about what this woman must really feel? I am sure that all what they think is that she should have been more reasonable before it has happened, and few people would care to ask whether that sexual act was desirable by the woman or not.
In many countries abortion is banned by law, however, it is still conducted illegally with a great pressure on the poor woman. No one cares to ask about the woman’s feelings, to enquire about her worries and fears. She stops being a woman in the eyes of others and turns into a killer. Sad, but this is how the things are, despite all the rights for women and the ability to choose that life which you want as you live in the democratic country.
For a long time I was among those people who considered abortion immoral and mean-spirited. However, my way of thinking changed drastically after one of my married friends got pregnant for the second time. Her first pregnancy was without any complications and the delivery was very easy, that is why she did not have worries for her next child. The doctors did not see what to worry about either. Unfortunately, the delivery was very difficult and caused a lot of harm to the newborn girl. The chance that she would live was very miniscule and the doctors prepared the young couple for the worst.
The child survived and is now in her best health, however, the experience became a good lesson for me. When my friend for lying in the intensive care hospital with her baby, I had an opportunity to visit her. What I saw and heard there changed my entire perception of the abortion. One woman who stayed in the neighboring ward delivered a baby with the very bad case of the Parkinson disease. The defects in the little boy’s appearance were clear from the first sight: The head of quite a different shape, the expression on the face which looks not quite human-like, the elongated heels and the sixth finger-like attachment to the tiny hand together with the prognosis of the doctors that the baby will not last longer than about two years made the woman and the man fall into a state of a total despair.
The worst thing is that the couple knew before the baby was born that there was a high possibility that the baby would be born with serious health issues, however, being good Christians, they still hoped for the better despite the common sense. I was asking myself for quite a long time what would I do in such a case. I tried to forget everything I have ever learnt from the Bible and everything that my moral values told me. What is worse, to stop the pregnancy and suffer from the pangs of remorse for the rest of the life or to have a child who will suffer all his or her life in the world which does not accept someone too different from the rest of the people? Someone who will suffer through constant health issues until succumbing to one of them? I came to a conclusion that it was wiser to take the responsibility for your deeds upon yourself and save the unborn child from the life full of misery.
On the other hand, not all cases are so complicated, however, as I regard the issue now, if the family is sure that pregnancy is a mistake or that the child is not desirable especially by the mother it is better to take a precaution once, and later on be even more careful in order not to let the situation arise again. Life is full of choices, and it is up to people to decide what is moral and what is immoral, and individual attitudes can differ from the general opinion greatly.
Society has always been and will always be an indispensable factor for becoming an individual. Human sexuality proves to be a very delicate subject, full of prejudices and stereotypes, which determines how the person is treated by others in their social circles. Unfortunately, biased opinions hinder the healthy development of those relationships which can bring happiness and satisfaction to the people. My sexuality values were greatly influenced and gradually shaped by the widely disputed issues on male and female circumcision, constant threats to the homosexualists, and poorly understood practice of abortion. Maybe my attitudes make the majority of people to oppose me, however, these views help me to be an individual.
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